NO WAY!!!

Well, I have my drivers' license now, so what next? I mean, besides the actual building up of the loads of experience that I know I need, what more do I have to learn? The answer, to me, is obvious: I've gotta learn how to drive stick shift!!! Aaaahhh! For awhile I wanted to learn back in May or June when I was taking drivers ed, but Craig suggested that it might not be the best idea before I take my license test. After all, who wants to reach for the clutch, accidentally slam on the brake, and fail your drivers' exam? I took his point, so I waited.

But now is not the time for delay. The car that we use the most is a standard, and I better learn how to drive it really well before winter hits. Which means I have to learn soon. All I was waiting for was somebody to teach me. Mom recommended that I learn in Clyde's car since it's the easiest to shift in, so eventually he offered to teach me. And my first lesson was last night.

To begin with, he drove to the ball field. We switched drivers, and he began to enlighten me in the ways of using a manual transmission. But as we sat there with the ball field gathering darkness all around us, what should we see but Gerry's car drive up and stop at the other side! This was a puzzle. What would Gerry be doing here?

"Maybe Lisa is learning," Clyde suggested.

"Or maybe he's teaching Drew," I added, since that young person is here visiting his relatives and the Reeds.

Then sure enough, Gerry and Drew did the exact same thing that Clyde and I had done just a few minutes before!

NO WAY!!!

How could both parties have the same idea, on the same day, at the same time, and in the same place? I mean, I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with a standard, but going up to the ball field at dusk on a Thursday night isn't something that's just done by everybody! It really weirded me out.

And how did the lesson go? Well, first I had beginner's luck in starting the car. Was driving a standard going to be way easy after all? Um, no. Because after that whenever I tried to start I stalled, and stalled, and stalled, and stalled again. But near the end I began to feel like I was getting the hang of it, at least to a certain extent. Thus ended lesson one.

But I still can't get over that coincidence. . . .

Back from the life of Riley

I got back last Monday from being in Maine with my parents. Here are a couple highlights (or low points):

~Almost running over three deer during my first night driving experience (and in Maine)

~Playing darts by myself countless times. I always managed to win whenever it was just me, but I always seemed to lose when it came to playing my dad or mom. :)

~Hitting the bull's eye a couple times in the above said activity

~Having to dump out a good cup of hot chocolate because my parents wouldn't let me drink lake water even if it had been boiled. (I don't blame them, it was just sad)

~Biking with my dad (even through the rain)

~visiting Heidi

~losing the key to the cabin at night--thank the Lord the Beans found it in their yard since we'd just been visiting them.

~reading and reading!

~going garage-saling and picking up two CDs for a buck a piece

~surviving without indoor plumbing

~washing my hair in the lake

~going canoeing with my parents

~going to Salvation Army

~stepping in the results of the neighbor dog's egestion with my bare feet!!! disgusting!

~sleeping in until ten o'clock almost every morning.

. . . . and other such boring activities that are so delightful when you're on vacation!

Hello, my name is Anonymous

Have you ever wondered about all those deep quotes out there in the world that are attributed to “Anonymous?” Well, here’s another:

“Any loser can win, but it takes a winner to lose with a good attitude.”

~Anonymous (alias: Kayla)

Yep, folks. My name is Anonymous. Here are a couple more anonymous quotes, deemed by Chad and Craig to be quite profound:

“The ones you’ve already seen you’ve already seen.”

And,

“I don’t like movies that I don’t like.”

That is what it is like to be around me. You never know when sparks of wit will fly from my mouth. Just look at all those quotes out there with my name attached to them! I couldn’t make anybody jealous though, so that’s why my name is Anonymous.

There are those out there, however, who do not have scores of incredible wisdom just spouting from their mouths. That’s why they have their names attached to them, ‘cause they gotta get their claim to fame in somewhere! Like here are a couple I saw in the store a couple weeks ago. Ponder these:

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

“Time enjoyed being wasted is not wasted time.”

Spiritually, I don’t agree with that second quote. But in many ways I can see why it makes sense!

If you were wondering, I’m not going to go digging into all the deep quotes I can find. You see, we have smart people all around us that are great at edifying, so now I’m going to recount a few that I scribbled down or remember from girls’ week and the last youth convention’s meetings. If you were there it may be an encouraging reminder:

~ “In every heart there is a God-shaped void.” ~Andrea (or whoever it was)

~ “If nothing is too hard for Him, then with Him nothing is too hard for you.” ~Ari

~ “I need no other sunshine than the sunshine of Thy face.” ~some hymn I can’t remember

~ “You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.” ~St. Augustine

~ “Draw me after Thee; we will run together.” ~Song of Sol. 1:4

~ “God doesn’t choose favorites. Each of us is a favorite.” ~Andrea

~ “The highest attainment open to a human being is the knowledge of God.” ~F.W. Sandford

~ “What you feed grows.” ~Andrea

(concerning the verse that nothing can separate us from the love of God) ~ “If nothing can separate us that means I can’t either.” ~Cara

~ “Sometimes I think if other people could see what I’m really like on the inside they wouldn’t really like me, but Jesus already knows what I’m like and loves me anyway.” ~Klara

~ “God holds nothing back that’s really worth it.” ~Anonymous (though I might have gotten it from Andrea)

~ “Your love toward each of Your children—including me—is intensely personal.” ~part of a prayer in our devotion book

Wow, and that was just the girls’week! Sorry if you’re bored, but this is good stuff, so here we go on to the youth convention (and these are just snippets of course)!

“Christianity isn’t just a religion, but a relationship.” ~Daddy (or something like that)

~ “God doesn’t want me to be successful. He wants me to need Him.” ~Mr. Turner quoting Mary’s magnet

~ “Mankind was created to serve, not to be served. . . his first priority should be to bring glory to God.” ~Daddy (quoting somebody?)

~ “Surrender is the key to transformation.” ~Danny

~ (concerning slaying giants) “This is not a game—it’s war.” ~Uncle Tim

~ “Holy and without blemish. That’s the uniform. Jesus died so we could wear it!” ~Uncle Tim (basically)

~ “Nevertheless—I believe God.” ~Uncle Tim

~ “You may have to fight, you may have to fight, but keep right on fighting and never give up.” ~Daddy

~ “You may be big, but Jesus is bigger.” ~Daddy (quoting a story)

~ “Do you have the courage to be a young man or a young woman of valor?” ~Mr. Chuck K.

~ “We will find suffering—the Christian life isn’t easy. However, to be in the Lord’s army is a privilege.” ~Mr. Chuck K. (basically)

~ “We’re not in a worldwide conflict. We’re in a worldwide conquest.” ~ Chuck

~ “When your eyes are on Jesus, you can endure anything.” ~Chuck

~ “No good soldier entangles himself in the affairs of this life.” ~Chuck

And, since the youth convention wasn’t all seriousness, here are a couple quotes I’ve just now mustered from my memory, mostly during the skits. They’re not exact, and you’d definitely have to be there to appreciate them. If you were there, maybe you will:

Aaron: Peter, was this Bible read between the hours of 8 and 10 last night?
Peter: Twelve times.

Zarah (pretending to be Cara as she slaps her biceps): I knew these would come in handy someday.

Richard: Dude, being twenty and in the fifth grade is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Ryan (pride seeping out of every pore): Here I am with my new Wal-Mart fishing pole.

Ryan (in their High Noon rendition skit): And he’s arriving at high noon! (sarcastically) Well what do know, it’s high noon.

Abbie (and people): I’m so glad Diane isn’t here, now I can get some peace and quiet.
Diane (in an impressively high and very loud professional sounding singing voice): I’m hooooooooooome!

Emily: Hey, isn’t that a pie server?
Anonymous: NOOOOO!!! It’s my thinking stick! It helps me think.

Remember Ben trying to scare the bear (otherwise known as Daniel A) away by playing the kazoo? Remember Cara gasping for breath as she gave Gabe his “graduation spanking?” Or the family tug-of-war with everyone against her? Or how about Klara’s hairdo? Phillip being a raccoon? Eric’s impersonation of Andrea? Ben throwing “Andrea” over his shoulder to rescue her? Jacque as the ferocious cook? Aaron and Peter’s hilarious sleuthing techniques?

If you don’t, you’re missing out.

And finally, because the compliment made me so happy, I quote Zarah talking to me:

“You crack me up.”

Sweeter than banana cream pie

Today I did something I've never done before. I went to the DMV and got my license.

Yes, that's what I said!

Now I say "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I can't believe I actually did it! And yet here I am typing away with it sitting in front of me to admire. It might seem a bit vain, but I feel like I just have to keep looking at it to make sure it's still real. . . and besides, as my mom expressed in her fine opinion, our state's license has always seemed quite pretty. But of course since it's mine I would think it was pretty no matter what it looked like.:)

Soooo, how did it go? The eye test? No sweat. No surprise I guess, especially since I was wearing my contacts.hehe The written test? I spent a little bit longer on it than I should have, perhaps, but no problem-o. Then came the long hour wait for my driving test, while all the while I yawned and yawned, trying heartily not to be nervous and not wholly succeeding. Mostly I was waiting for an ancient 97-year-old man trying to renew his license. . . I'm afraid the poor man may have failed. In the meantime things got pretty backed up since it was so busy and all, but fortunately I was next and got to get it over with (finally!). Fifteen minutes later I walked back into the office, brimming with relief as I carried a yellow paper that had an "X" marked in a box next to a word sweeter than banana cream pie: "Passed."

I blinked, stunned, and I was holding my license.

WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Smashing" says it all!

Well, I am back once again. Girls' week was smashing, the youth convention was superb, and vacation was fantastic. What more need I say?

You know me well enough to realize that I am about to say more.

Announcement number one: to whom it may interest, I have successfully completed AND passed drivers' education!!! No license yet but the bulk of the work is behind me and HISTORY! I actually had to take the final test the day that girls' week started. Not only that, but my final class was right before the van was leaving so I had to leave my class early and get shuttled down to Jaffrey to meet our ride. Thankfully the rendezvous went smoothly.

Hmm, next I would like to say for the record (and for all those who haven't heard me say it already) that this girls' week was my first sick-free girls' week EVER!!! True, it was only my third one, but being sick for two girls' weeks in a row is not to be taken lightly, and therefore I don't take my healthy week of fun for granted. Obviously Someone was looking out for me. Not that God wasn't looking out for me in past years. In fact, I learned a valuable lesson last girls' week on just accepting sickness when God allows it. It's a very content feeling, and it certainly helps dispel fear in the "oh no am I going to get sick?" category. Nonetheless, I am extremely thankful that I was spared a day or two of misery.

So, what did we do? Um, went to Newport, saw the Coronet, and oh yes, shopped. The next day we went strawberry picking and rode a hayless hay ride, and the day after that we toured Blithewold Mansion and got to explore its humongous garden by the bay. Then before ending up at Fairwood, oh yeah, we shopped again at the outlet malls. And that, with the exception of the myriad of scintillating conversations, breathtaking games, and uplifting meetings, sums up the week. The End.

And of course the youth convention went swimmingly. I wish I could say that I felt like describing it for you, but since the majority of my readers know what a youth convention is typically like, I won't force myself. However I must say that along with the good meetings and sports (and meals and people and everything else), Craig did a very good job of coming up with creative games. One afternoon we were divided up into teams and we competed in field day activities as a team (for instance every team member's time for the fifty-yard dash was averaged with everyone else's, the long jumps were all added together, and so forth). Another time we played the regular skit-in-a-bag game, where everyone did a splendid job in coming up with hilarious ideas. Over all a fun convention.

On to vacation. Last Wednesday morning we picked Kendra up at the Hartford airport and our whole family just chilled around, exploring corners of Massachusetts we'd never seen before, having a picnic lunch, and then wandering around in the Holyoke mall which was closing early for the 4th. But we still got some last remnants from a closing Chinese place in the food court. I think they were happy to bestow their leftovers upon us! I was the last person in our family to get my food I think, and the Oriental lady absolutely heaped my plate, chuckling, "You eat a lot tonight!" And I did, but not without a little help.

Thursday was Six Flags and I got to go to my first water park ever! I had loads of fun trying those out, sloshing round dark corners in a tube with my siblings, going through waterfalls at odd intervals, and speeding down twisting slides that go faster and faster as you go. I even tried out a slide that was several stories high and practically just drops you at a sixty-five degree angle or so. I wasn't ready to go on the Superman roller coaster though. Somehow going 77 mph and being dropped two hundred some feet just isn't quite my cup of tea.

On Friday my whole family minus Chad sailed on up (in our mini van) to Quebec City where we spent a relaxing weekend camping. Yes, camping! And we love it! Or at least those of us who went do. No wimps in our family. . . . except all those people who slept on air mattresses, for Pete's sake. I mean, if you're going to go camping it's no fun unless you feel a couple of rocks sticking into your back, right? I can understand if you're a lady in your upper fifties who has to deal with arthritis, but if you're just a twenty-one-year-old guy? Come on! Where's the adventure? Nonetheless, since we had the air mattresses, we used them, though Daddy and I were the only people who didn't wimp out. Oddly enough, Craig's air mattress proved to be the one that never leaked and he was the one who ended up with back problems on the trip. Poor kid.

So we explored Quebec City in all its quaint Frenchness, admired St. Ann's Cathedral, visited Krispy Kreme (of course), explored Canadian countryside with beautiful red-roofed barns (which of course we stopped to take pictures of), swam in the campground pool, played croquet, read Jeeves and Calvin and Hobbes, and hid our books from Kendra who kept on trying to steal ours because she didn't bring enough reading material. All in all, we had a lovely vacation. There's some sort of charm in having a vacation where you wash your face from a spigot, spit your tooth paste into the woods, pay a quarter for a hasty shower, and eat three s'mores each night before bedtime, is there not? The last morning we intended to break camp and touch on Montreal on our way home, so we woke with the rooster. I'm serious, we all really did wake up to the call of the rooster outside our tent at seven o'clock sharp! Never mind that the rooster's voice sounded suspiciously like my mom's. . . .

"Do I know you?"

One of the strangest parts about being a teenager is coming to the "I hardly recognized you" stage. I imagine this hits people at some time or other, but it's been really weird to have more than one person say that they had no idea who I was. Like Aunt June, for instance, having just come back from Thailand, saying she would have never guessed who I was had I not been with my family. While it's kind of funny, it's also an odd feeling. Do I really look that different? I wonder. Have I changed so much? Did (or worse, DO) I look that bad? What's more, I saw Aunt June only a year or more ago. Do I really look like a total stranger? How unsettling!

Family resemblences are also a fascinating thing to me. Like when Jeff came to bibleschool I couldn't resist saying to him one day, "Has anyone ever told you how much you look like Amy?" It was true! Or there are some people who at one point I could never tell the difference between, but now they're as different as night and day. Elizabeth and Katherine as well as Steph and Kim are examples. I still remember being with the latter's family and guessing which girl I was talking to at the moment ("Kim, right?" Um, no). Or even looking at a picture of Aunt Ali as a little girl and thinking how much it looked like Cara--that also happened to me when I was looking at a picture of Mr. Steve D. when he was young and he looked just like pictures of Isaac! Wow, family resemblences are incredible things. It's as if a certain face never quite dies out, as it's being reproduced from one generation to the next with very slight variations in between. Imagine looking at a picture several generations old and seeing yourself!

Actually something like that happened to me. I didn't actually look at a picture and see myself, but someone told me that I look kind of like my mom's father. I'd never heard that before, but I thought it was kind of precious because I never met my grandfather. Even so, I've always had a special regard for him, and everything that was his or that my mom says about him is dear, like knowing someone wonderful. Call a little silly if you will, but since he died when my mom was a teenager his memory has remained sacred in my mind for her sake and his. Just another person I'm looking forward to seeing when I get to heaven! So as you can see, although the compliment of looking like my grandfather is a strange one, it's also kind of an honor.

Believe it or not, I have also been told that I look like people in my immediate family. Once a complete stranger at an ATI conference asked if I was related to Craig. Man, what can they see in me that's anything like him? His face is indeed quite the opposite of my own attractiveness. Should I be complimented or insulted? Does it prove that my features are "so. . . . masculine?" However, I've also been told that I look like Chad and Kendra, and most frequently, my mom. We had a picture up on our fridge of my mom's family when she was about eleven and people would come in and exclaim, "She looks like Kayla!"



In fact the other day I stopped in to visit Grandma Sweet with my mom. I haven't seen her for a long time I'm afraid, but seeing her reminded me how much I really like her, even though she wasn't feeling too well since she recently sprained her ankle. Since I hadn't seen her for awhile, obviously she hasn't seen me either.

"You look just like your mother all over again," she told me. Then, because she and my mom are always teasing eachother, she added, "Too bad you had to pick a face like hers!"

What can I say? I can't help it if I have my brothers' looks and my mother's smile. I am who I am. So just deal with it.

Isn't she beautiful? (and of course still is)
(um, my mom's senior picture didn't actually have that pattern on it, but it must be something about the pattern of the paper in her yearbook that the scanner noticed; I didn't know how to get rid of it!)

And in case you're getting scared, I don't really look that different!



This pic is just because I changed my profile picture so now you can take a look and see it better


p.s. In case anyone is wondering why I didn't nicely put up pictures of my other side of the family, don't be offended. I still love my dad's family--I just don't look very much like them.:)

Favorite Friend

Today Jonathon said to me, "Kayla, guess what? You're my favorite friend."

Aaawww.

The compliment practically made my day, but nevertheless I don't believe him one bit! I've never played with Jonathon that much. And of course my well-evolved brain can easily read his six-year-old mind to really mean, "You're my favorite friend at this particular minute because you're riding bikes with me when there's no one else who will right now."

Still, it's not every day that someone tells you that you're their favorite friend, so I may as well treasure the moment.

*sigh*treasure*treasure*

Got rear view mirrors?

Recently Claire wrote about people's need to use their blinkers when they're driving. I wholly agree with that, and of course that can be a whole different subject in itself. However, today I was shocked to discover that some people don't seem to use their rear view mirrors!

Here's my example: I drove my mom around town quite a bit today, getting good but fairly relaxing experience. We were at the bank, and I was about to back up. I checked my rear view mirrors and had just barely started to back up at a cautious speed when I noticed the brake lights of a car behind me. Hesitating, I wondered if he saw me, but since I was already part way out and he hadn't even moved, I figured he was waiting for me and I better finish backing up a little more quickly to get out of his way. Therefore I continued, but then my mom and I noticed that the other car was backing up too! I stopped, and to our horror they just kept coming closer and closer (not even inching!) as if we didn't exist. I was convinced that I was going to experience my first collision. Terror gripped me in that infinite moment.

"Horn!" my mom cried (this all was happening quite quickly you see). In a panic I fumbled for the horn and gave it two good solid beeps. The person rolled back a little more, stopped, and then turned and left without giving the time of day.

Shaken, I turned out of the parking lot, "That's why we pray for protection," I told my mom.

But still, it was apparent that that person wasn't even looking! It's scary when you realize that there are people that do that--backing up without looking, as if they owned the parking lot. It just makes me want to say, "C'mon, buddy, don't you know how to use your rear view mirrors?"

To think they give licenses to people like that. . . . (shudder)

I SURVIVED!!! and other equally dull events of my life

First of all, I want you all to know that I survived!

Um, what?

Come on now, can't you read my brain? I know that technology is truly advancing, so therefore the mind must be too as we "evolve" into more astute creatures. So of course when I say "I survived" you know immediately that I am saying that I am alive after my first driving experience on the expressway and am oh so glad that we prayed for protection! I know you are bored after I have repeated what you already knew, but I figure that just in case you aren't incredibly gifted like the rest of us it might help you to know what I mean by "I survived."

So anyway, I survived. Actually this is really an old story because I drove on the freeway nearly two weeks ago, but I figure it's just as true as it was then that I survived (or I guess it is because if I hadn't I would have heard about it by now). Well, we were driving up to my dear grandma's internment in Maine, and to make a long story short, I drove all the way to the Maine border and part of the way back. So:

~I survived driving on an interstate with only about fifteen hours (at the time) of driving experience on country roads! I also felt extremely guilty when I went 80 mph on a 65 mph speed limit because I was terrified of going too slowly in the left lane when I was passing someone. Don't worry, I was pretty close to the speed limit the rest of the trip, and lucky for me, Craig was even able to sleep part of the way so at least everyone in my vehicle wasn't biting their nails the whole time--just my mom who was monitoring me in the front seat. Over all, the ride up was pretty easy.

~I survived when a thunderstorm hit us on the highway! I had only just started driving again when we noticed that we were driving straight toward some ominous evil-looking green clouds, and then there was lightning along the way and rain and rain which I wasn't too used to and we had to pull over and wait for the worst of it to pass.

~I survived when someone pulled out in front of me and stopped to turn when I didn't realize it. I was soooo thankful that the brakes worked, since that was the closest I had ever come to having to slam on them!

~I survived airport driving! Now I may know how to pick somebody up when I need to!

~I survived rush hour traffic coming out of Manchester when I was trying to get into a different lane and I didn't know when to turn and nobody was letting me! We were also running late for something. T'was stressful indeed.

~I survived when I cut someone off in a lane change. I felt really bad about it since I didn't have to change when I did, but somehow it didn't occur to me when I saw them in my sideview mirror that they were right there. Thank the Lord we didn't have any accident and they didn't even seem angry--they just passed me.

Hmm, I know this doesn't really sound like anything scary for all of you superb drivers out there, but if you recall your first experiences of these things you may understand how it was a big thing to me! Thankfully I'm no longer traumatized and it really wasn't that big of a deal, but still it is remarkable how the once frightening places seem so mellow now. :)

On a slightly different and more random note, my driver's ed teacher said something interesting the other day. Someone was asking him why in NH you're not considered legally intoxicated under the age of 21 unless your BAC level is 0.02--if it's illegal to be drinking at all, why do they "allow" a BAC 0.01 in a minor and what would that be called? My teacher's reply sounded something like this:

"That," he said, "is called internal combustion." Internal combustion? The whole class, the teacher included, burst out into laughter. Yes, there is definitely a difference between "consumption" and "combustion."

Finally, my latest event this weekend was a quick trip down to Cape Cod! It developed quite suddenly. My parents were gone for the weekend, and Friday afternoon I was working on this and that, fully expecting to spend a quiet weekend at home and maybe go to Laura's graduation. Then Craig came home from work and asked me if I wanted to go to Cape Cod with him to visit "the Cousins." About two hours later, we were on the road. The plan was that Craig and I would drive down to the Cousins, he would sail back with Uncle Earl (and as it turned out, Bria) on his boat the next day, and I would stay and go back to their house with Aaron, Cara, and Ryan on the same day (Saturday).

And thus it occurred. Even though we didn't go to bed until about quarter of one Friday night we were up the next morning (after the others had left an hour or two earlier), rapidly cleaning the house and were out of there at the check out time of ten o'clock precisely. The day was gorgeous--just the sort of day you DON'T want to be leaving the beaches of Cape Cod. But after wading briefly in the bay, picking up ice cream cones at the general store, and waiting for a long time while Aaron and Ryan tried to find the place they were supposed to drop the keys off at, we were finally off. Cara got the lucky job of driving with the trailer in tow, along with a back seat that was so stuffed that you couldn't see out the rear view mirror at all. But she did just splendidly and if anything it made me feel more useful by helping her check her blind spots and being an extra person to read signs. In the meantime, Aaron and Ryan followed right behind in Craig's car to make sure that nothing fell off the trailer. Happily the trip was pretty uneventful except for plenty of talking.:)

And that's most of what I have to say. Of course we arrived at their house safely and had a nice but slightly sluggish afternoon from being tired. Visited, laughed, played a finish the quote game, watched Ryan give his dog a bath, moved some furniture, relished fresh strawberries, chuckled at on-line movies, wondered at not having heard from the "sailors" (so of course Aunt Ali had the Coast Guard radio them to make sure they were okay), and finally went to bed late and tired. The only other unusual thing that happened was when Cara forgot I was lying on her floor and stepped on me in the night. Ouch. But I fell back to sleep and almost didn't realize what had just happened--lucky for me and for her. The sailors did get back safely, and in the morning Craig and I got up and drove home to get ready for the day and go to church.

The End.

random pix

And now here are a few scattered shots that I've taken fairly recently:

Playing volleyball during a Florida sunset
(that's Jeff and Kim by the way)

One of my gorgeous birthday flowers that Cara gave me

The wicked cool crab claw I found on the beach in Newport.
The only reason I didn't keep it is that there was a fly or two attracted to it. This bad sign and Megan's experienced advice reminded me that there was still meat inside (ew), but of course I just had to take a picture of it!

This is NOT digitally edited!
You have now seen with your own eyes that I was nearly gobbled up by a ferocious giant! Luckily Craig saved me--but only after he took the picture.
("A friend in need is a friend indeed," just hope that your friend isn't a photographer!:)

An orchid
(National Biological Gardens in Washington D.C.)

The graduations in the family

You may have wondered why I didn't have any individual pictures of Clyde in my last post. That's because you get to see him right here--as the graduate!

First of all though is the renowned end of the year party and skits. Here's one of the guys' skits concerning "the real Clyde" in dorm life. Basically he made Dave and Andrew wait on him hand and foot ("Dave I need a footstool. . . Dave, you are the footstool.") In this picture Andrew is tasting Clyde's drink before giving it to him ("Good, you're not dead.")

And now here he is, after the graduation!
(check out the amazing cake that Mary made! Complete with a combination in which you can't go wrong: a Bible, Warrior Songbook, and Red Sox hat, made completely out of cake:)

Naturally we had to sneak in a many family pix as possible--this one is the night after the graduation as well

And a week later in VA at Kendra's graduation!

Class Trip! (an age later)

Yay, today is picture day! Well, a few at least. I could have put these up a week or two ago but I never got around to scanning them until recently. So now everybody here are just a few shots from class trip, now over a month ago:

Bria shivering in Clyde's humongous sweat-shirt

Kate!

Megan!

Andrew!

Dave!

The lovely second year gals

Someone definitely high on my favorite people's list :)

Rachel's hair (artwork by Megan:)

Vanlora joking around while Diane looks at her as if she's crazy

Katie!
(hand in blur from the amazing frisbee or football throw just carried out)

Everybody!

*Sigh* What a great year.:)

I'm It!

Oh yeah, I was tagged awhile ago, so here I am responding (finally, Cara!). I would have done it earlier but I didn't want to take the time to think up random facts, but now I'll take a wing at it:

1. Lilacs, Pine Sol, paint thinner, and gasoline have all been on my list of likeable scents. :)

2. I used to eat clover all the time, along with wheat berries, uncooked macaroni, and salt, salt, salt!

3. I've been to 46 states.

4. I never knew how to do a somersault until Laura kindly taught me when I was about ten. I was relieved to widen my skills in an area that I had been embarrassed at my lack of.:)

5. I've had 6-10 teeth pulled out by a dentist or specialist (two teeth being permanent and not my wisdom teeth), had plastic put on my two front teeth to make them grow straight, and have had three teeth knocked out and my tongue split as a result from being knocked by three different peoples' heads.

6. I used to think that our heads were full of nothing but the insides of pretzels, and that my cousin Aaron used to be a girl. Also I would lie awake at night trying to figure out what that strange noise was (my pulse throbbing steadily in my temples). Was it Clyde sleeping nearby? No. I determined that it was my eardrum (since it's an eardrum, it must make a thrumming noise, right?)

7. I almost drowned when I once stepped off the bottom step in the shallow end of a swimming pool. I tried to scream for help underwater but it didn't really work, except producing a stream of bubbles. Luckily my mommy leaped in to save me.:) By the way I was not ten, but four. I may have been a pathetic child not knowing how to somersault, but I wasn't that pathetic.

I hope this isn't lame, but I don't feel like tagging anyone, and I don't know if there's anyone left who even wants to be tagged, so ta ta!

Ya gotta love young humor!

And now lades and gents, I'm going to refresh you all with a bit of eight-year-old poetry. I discovered it at the back of one of my old notebooks my mom unearthed when she was cleaning out the attic and it pleased me greatly. It's different than the normal poetry style, but I think I must have had a lot of fun with it! (oh yes and I'm taking some liberties on line arrangement and a little punctuation, but this is very close to the original young scrawly poem)

There once was a person who played the cello,

By the way he was a fellow,

The fellow's name was Carmello,

Oh yes and his favorite food was jello,

He also liked bananas along with all their yellow,

One day when he met me he said with a bellow,

"Hello!"

Then we went to the lounge and played Othelo.

Carmello is nice,

Oh yes I forgot his last name is Mice,

Once I said to him when we were playing a game, "Hurry up with the dice!"

I said as I ate an orange slice,

For Carmello was still eating his rice,

"Crunch" I then heard my brother eating ice,

Then (later) Carmello went home and I just got word that he has lice!

Oooh yes, I think I enjoyed coming up with as many words that rhymed as possible. It had a little ring to it, don't you think?:)

How about a sneak peak of my eight-year-old humor? I won't give you the worst of them, but watch out, these can get pretty bad!

Q: What happened to the elephant when he sat on a Bible?

A: He couldn't get up.

Q: How come girls like girl dolls best?

A:They think there are too many boys already.

Q: How come elephants don't wear glasses?

A: They can't fit in the glasses shop.

Now that I've killed every respect you had for poetry and jokes, I'll just say I hope ya'll have a happy Sabbath!

When it rains, it pours

I don't know if you've ever noticed it before, but I have a tendency to blog in sudden bursts. I may go through one long dry spell of no posting at all, but occasionally, when I get the urge to blog, I may be overflowing with ideas. So now you are forewarned that for me (sometimes), when it rains, it pours. So be ready for whenever my spontaneous creativity may suddenly spout forth, and be prepared to take it in big gulps--because the four latest posts might have been written on the same day, so you should read all of them.:)

But anyway, at Clyde's bibleschool graduation weekend my whole family was together for the first time in over a year, so of course we had to take full advantage of the unusual occasion by getting some family pictures taken. Not professionally of course, but if you have someone willing and wonderful like Diane, what more do you need? I've actually been wanting to post this for awhile, but certain complications have prevented me, but now I'm finally here to present to you the NRS family in all their glory! Oddly enough, the first picture that Diane took on the digital camera was taken when she didn't really know it, but it turned out to be my favorite.

Aren't we the cutest family in all the world?
(after yours of course--she says to curry as much favor as possible:)

p.s. If you're wondering, Chad is really the tallest and Clyde is really the shortest (by a very little bit), but the ground slope put them in reverse order of height.:)

Could mortification be shaped like an octagon?

I had a mortifying experience today. My driving instructor had to use The Brake on me. How terrible is that? In all of my driving experience so far he has never once had to touch The Brake (at least not that I'm aware of), which of course has pleased me to no end to think that maybe he doesn't actually need it for me. For there are, let me assure you, people in my class who have needed it when I've been in the car. One poor girl just didn't seem to be able to manage time and space enough so that twice she tried to turn at an intersection when there wasn't time for her to turn. Lucky for us, Mr. K. had The Brake. So of course it was only natural that I obtained a certain measure of pride with my unblemished record of not needing The Brake.

"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Yes, I am convicted.

What sullied this stainless reputation of mine? Why one of the most elusive driving traps of all time: the stop sign.

We were in the Target parking lot. I was going at an appropriate slow speed, keeping an eye out for pedestrians. We came to the entrance of Target at the crosswalk and I looked all around. No pedestrians in sight. Okay, I'm good to go. But as I continued to slowly coast forward, an unexpected force stopped me. Surprised, I turned to my instructor, who pointed way way up and a little behind us.

"What color is that sign up there?"

Craning my neck, I answered ruefully, "Red."

"What shape is it?"

"Octagon."

"What do we do at it?"

"Stop," came my meek reply.

Um, yeah. I ran through my first stop sign. I admit it, confessing it for the whole world to know and ridicule! Now I'm prone to wonder: could mortification be shaped like an octagon?

The major problem is, I just simply didn't see it. "Duh," you're saying, (which you probably aren't since I know how mature all my readers are), "how could you miss a big red sign? It's not that hard to see." Yes, I must say I don't really have a good excuse. But let me remind you that we were in front of Target, and what color is everywhere outside a Target store? Red, red, red--red balls, red lines, red targets, so how am I supposed to notice a red sign, especially when it's at an unusually tall height and hung from a peculiar red arch? Who ever heard of decorating a stop sign post anyway? It's just not normal, so of course I wasn't going to respond as one normally would. Which, speaking of normal, as we sat there talking about the sign a car came sailing right by us on the left as if the stop sign didn't exist. Huh, so how many people notice these strange red octagonal signs in the real world? Probably not many. But as Mr. K. would say, we're not getting ready for just the real world. It's the DMV world a driving student is most concerned about. And that's what I can't afford to fail.

(sound of trembling)

Look before you leap!

Why does one do things that don't make sense? You'd think that as human creatures, we would have learned a long time ago to look before we leap, but why is it that we don't think to look until we're landing no where but in empty space? Aha, yes, that is indeed the time when it occurs to everyone that maybe they should have looked first, as they gaze with a hypnotized stare into the abyss below them. "So that's where that expression comes from," they say, as light dawns on granite head.

And now that I've eased you into a philosophical mood, I now am going to talk about bugs. Yes, bugs. Especially when they're in excess. They're these little annoying things just begging to be victimized, but how is one to go about it? Is it by letting them nonchalantly fly into your mouth, like I did during our softball game a last week?(believe me though, I didn't let the little monster in, he just insisted on entering, heedless of his potentially soggy demise) Do you let them dart onto your eyelid, where you squash them when they have no where to turn? Or go around hoping that they'll wander into your ear and meet up with some toxic earwax? However if you do this there's always the chance that they won't be smothered by your earwax, as the recent story of a guy who discovered he had a spider or two living on his eardrum testifies. Thankfully none of us are that stupid though, to go wandering around cupping our ears in hopes that we'll trap a straying fly inside and kill him humanely. That's probably why mosquitoes have such an annoying whine, because otherwise we might let them make their homes in there.

So, I see a fly (never mind what kind, suffice to know that it was a flying bug) in our mini van, and I have no tools to use with which to swat it with. What would you do? Use the blessed tools that God has given you of course, since there are few swatters more effective than the old-fashioned hand. So, I reach across the car and over Andrew's head (did I mention this was during class trip?) and "SMASH!" Victory is mine. Or is it? Too late, I gaze into the abyss to see the dead creature fixed firmly onto our lovely car ceiling. Nice.

What were you thinking? Clyde basically says to me. "That's like something Andrew would do."

I'm not sure that's a compliment.

So then you suggest that I try to squeeze the bug instead. Well this doesn't always work, since the last time I tried that I successfully snatched the bug out of the air, but after giving a proper hard squeeze I let go and there the fiend just flew away. Grr.

So then the other day a mosquito came whining it's way along and plopped itself on my Norway journal which I was reading. Perfect. This time I was going to play it smart. I didn't want mosquito guts pasted on my journal pages for posterity, so I decided that I would use my hands, and this time I was going to use both of them. Who cares if I get mosquito guts on my hands anyway? People aren't going to be scanning my hands a hundred years from now to find out what I was like (or I hope they're not going to), so it's much better to protect my sacred journal. So, surreptitiously I moved my hands in, palms downward for the kill. Squash goes the dratted little mosque-eat-toe between the sides of my hands.

Whoosh!

Splat!

Squirt!

Splash!

What I'd failed to realize is that this mosquito wasn't searching for a meal. He was simply digesting it.

Ew, gross!

Instead of the squashed black mosquito remains I had so wisely feared upon the precious page of my journal, there lay a big bright red drop of blood (probably mine), not to mention what was on my hands. So now I got both the mosquito and his meal conquered in one fell swoop. Luckily I was able to dab my journal page with a tissue to get the worst of the drop soaked up, but still remains the blood stain to this day and for eternity. So if some day down the road when I'm dead you're reading my journal entry for Monday, May 30, 2005. . . "So we got in the long line to wait. It wasn't very long though, and soon we were going through security, which thankfully didn't have*splat* a long line." You'll know that the *splat* is my famed mosquito kill. I've now preserved the story behind that strange bloodstain for posterity. People will now be relieved to know that I didn't get stabbed in the Oslo airport.

And thus my amazing story ends.

Happy things from Driver's Ed.

Happy things from driver's ed:

~When asked the question as to the Blood Alcohol Concentration you're legally intoxicated at, a classmate guessed 50%. Um, thankfully the law doesn't let people drive with a BAC of 49%, because most likely they'd be dead by then. The legal limit for those over 21, by the way, is 0.08%.

~Hearing about the motorcyclist who got run over by a turkey.

~A class mate is freaked out about changing from glasses to contacts because he's convinced that somehow he'll get them stuck around and up in his eyes and won't be able to get them out. "Just give yourself a good whack on the back of the head," my teacher tells him. "Yep, works every time for me," I chime in.

~Laughing at the AAA movies when the people talking keep popping out from behind signs.

~Asking a dumb question in a rhetorical fashion to make a joke in the car and the guy sitting next to me answering it. "Um, thanks. . . that was a rhetorical question." "Oh."

~Being honked at when the light had just turned green and Victor (my teacher) comforting me by saying that the Q-tip (his disrespectful term for the elderly) in the car behind us was doing nothing but staring at the light (which is a sign of a new driver).

~Exploring a new lake on a beautiful day and driving on top of a dam that neither me nor my teacher had been to.

~Classmate: "I have never finished a book. I got from A-Z and that was enough for me. . . I can't stand to sit in a chair." (don't ask me how he drives) Instead he'd rather stand in the middle of the room watching the Antique Road Show!

~Successfully parallel parking.

~Learning from Victor of vast knowledge that NH has more motorcycles than any state in the Union and Rte. 137 is one of their favorite roads.

~Being told that I should try the type of car racing in Europe that's done on curvy country roads; supposedly I may be able to handle it.

~Learning that Victor has been to Norway (who goes to Norway but cool people anyway? Not that anyone reading this isn't already cool, but only cool people travel to a place like that:)

~When our teacher said that NH is the only state in the Union to not have a law enforcing seat belt wearing, a classmate ("Earl") piped up with appropriate joyful defiance, "Live free or die."

~So why do some people not want a seat belt law in NH? "They're uncomfortable," an often distracted classmate answers. Victor replies, "So you'd rather be comfortable and dead instead of uncomfortable and alive?"

~"Why get angry?" Victor says in the car. "You probably lose six months of your life every time you get mad." Classmate: "My mom is going to die real soon."

~"And we saw this woman police officer arresting this man and taking him to her vehicle. What I was concerned about was how he was supposed to wear his seat belt with his hands behind his back," my teacher says in class. "Well you see they have these little cubby holes for your hands. . . " a classmate informs him. Awed, Victor asked him how he knew that, but he smiled and wouldn't say! Hmm. . .

~Hearing classmate's road rage stories--both serious and amusing

~The unforgettable quote: "I don't try to keep a nursing home schedule." :) (see earlier post)

~Lots of laughs and new things learned in general.

Where have I been?

I don't know if you've been checking my blog regularly enough to notice it or not, but in case you didn't, I haven't posted for quite some time. This isn't because I've been detesting my blog of late or even because my life as been as boring as hay (I'm not sure if hay is really that boring, but that was the first common thing that popped into my head so you'll just have to deal with it), but simply because I've been too busy to bother with it! Now I've come to realize that many people who blog do so because it's really important to them or because they really have nothing else better to do. I was going to say that all you blog writers blog just because you have nothing better to do, but I decided that that's a little too harsh and I know that none of you come close to being lazy, so I shouldn't even imply such a thing, right? But that's the way I almost feel--blogging is only something you do if you have time to do it, and frankly, I don't feel like I've been having that. However, the Sabbath is a wonderful solution, and hence I am here. All that long paragraph to say that I've just been too busy to write. . . . .

"But what, Kayla," you say, "could you have possibly been busy doing to make your life so full? You don't work full time like me or have to stay up until five in the morning doing school, so what's the matter with you? You must not be all that busy; you surely could have found time to write sometime." That could be true, but I'm not here to argue upon that point.

So what have I been busy doing? Was it my wonderful sixteenth birthday that took up so much time? Naturally that was fairly busy, and I was lucky enough to have the last snowfall of the year four days before to melt and give me some gorgeous spring weather, and Andrew's adoption party went well, as well as having my family home for a ping-pong and pool party. In that party I got properly creamed in ping-pong by Mom, Chad, and Craig, but I managed to pull off a win with Clyde even though he claimed he didn't start spinning the ball until half way through the game; I also won a game of pool with my Dad. No, my birthday wasn't the only thing.

Was it fast day, perchance? Maybe.

Was it class trip? That could have been it. We were gone for three days in RI, and that was a lot of fun, going to Boston and Newport and such delightful places. In fact if it had happened more recently and I could remember more about it I would write about it maybe, but not this time.

Was it all those hours of classes you had to watch to make up for being gone on class trip? Well, five forty-five minute classes plus assignments and a quiz and a test were a little much for a day, but that wasn't terrible.

Perhaps it was your violin lessons and your recital? Could be.

Or was it the May Feast when you spent two days going to meetings? Part of it.

Could it have been your school, midweek meetings, sports, the end of the year party, and Clyde's bibleschool graduation? (Yes, Clyde has now joined the ranks of bibleschool alumni!:) Sort of.

And now that you have gotten thoroughly bored of trying to read or guess as to why my life has been so full, you probably stopped reading this awhile ago. Now I know how to weed out the die-hards to find out who really wants to know what I've been up to. Well, I've told you part of it, but there's a little more. . . . .

What's one of the first questions a sixteen-year-old is often asked? Yep, "So have you started driving?" And finally, after months of neglect and lack of practice, my answer would have to be YES!

"Aha!" you say. "I am starting to understand."

No, I don't already have my driver's license.

But let me go back and tell you about our amazing answer to prayer. A few months ago we heard about a driving school in Peterborough that isn't connected with any of the public schools. Jayne R. was going to (and has) take it, and we started to plan on signing me up for it. Jayne said her class was pretty small so I should be able to get in pretty easily, so we weren't too worried until the day last month when my mom called up to have my name put down and found that they were booked!!!

So what now?

Another option would be to do driving under ConVal in July and August in the dead middle of the summer, or to wait until fall. Neither sounded very appealing. So what do we do when we don't know what to do? Pray. And so on my birthday, we prayed. On fast day, we prayed. When my mom called up the morning of the first day of classes, she was informed that there still wasn't space and to call the next day to find out if someone didn't show up.

"Keep your fingers crossed," he told my mom.

"Well I'm going to pray, that's a lot better than keeping my fingers crossed," my mom told him with a laugh.

So what did we do when she got off the phone? We prayed some more. It was funny, because somehow I really felt at peace, like somehow I knew that God was going to get me into the class. And even if He didn't, it would be easy to know that that's not what He wanted because if I didn't make it in it would simply mean that He didn't want me to be there. But somehow that really didn't seem like a possibility. Well, the guy called back an hour or so later, leaving a message for mom to call him, and when she did he asked her if she was still praying. She told him that we had prayed together about it, and he told her that she could stop (at least I think that's what she said he said). Then he asked her if we knew Jayne R. When told that actually yes, she comes to our church, he replied quickly,

"Well because of that, you're in. I hope she's as good a student as Jayne is."

Wow.

I guess that's the wonderful thing about being good friends with the top student of his last class. Not only that but it blesses me to think that because of Jayne's diligence and good testimony I was able to get in. So now I have to be a good student.

And what more need I say? I've already had four classes and a couple driving sessions, and it feels like all my free evening time is taken up with studying for driver's ed or trying to get my driving time in with my parents. I already had a quiz that I was pretty nervous about, but it went quite well for me, even though due to stress and a lack of sleep last weekend I got a headache and had to miss volleyball and go to bed early. I basically love my instructor and my fifteen person class, and I'm so "cooled out" that DCA's pastor's daughter who came to Character Camp a few years ago is in the class with me.

Actually, our class was originally fourteen people, but during the second class, Victor (my driving instructor) made a proposition for us. He told us that there was a homeschooled girl who signed up and didn't know she was supposed to be sixteen before the end of the class. The class was due to end the 22nd of June, and her birthday is on the 24th. All the other driver's ed courses in the area are booked for the summer. So he asked us if we were willing to have the final test on the 25th instead of the 22nd so she could be part of the class, and the class voted and almost everyone agreed to let her come! How nice is that? It will probably mean that I'll miss the first night of girls' week, but at least I was able to do my part to make somebody's day.

And now I'm going to close with a quote from one of my classmates. I think I'm supposed to be careful in what I tell other people about my classmates, but if I take the step to preserve the knowledge of their identity, I think sometimes this will be took good to miss. So anyway, I was sitting in the back seat of the driver's ed car yesterday afternoon observing as a guy we had just picked up from Conval drove through Peterborough toward Dublin, and Victor, my instructor, was suddenly remembering that he had forgotten to order pizza for his Friday night dinner. Victor always eats pizza on Friday nights, he explained. So turning to our fine student driver, who we'll call Earl, he asked,

"So Earl, do you have anything you usually eat on Friday nights?"

"No, not really. I don't try to keep a nursing home schedule." Victor, who must be in his fifties, laughed heartily at this, acknowledging the insult he had just received. Then looking at Earl's plaid pants and fifties plaid hat (he always seems to be wearing plaid), he said to him a few minutes later,

"Well at least I don't look like I'm dressed like someone in a nursing home."

Wowed

Here are my two facts that I learned a couple weeks ago in Biology and am still delighting in:

Did you know. . . . that throughout your lifetime your body produces enough spit to fill two swimming pools?

There's hope for Bria yet! (even if she doesn't know how to propel it from her mouth:)

Did you know. . . . that you (if you're average) sweat about a cup of sweat a day, even if your sitting in a cool room with little physical exercise? And if that isn't enough, imagine how much you can sweat on a hot day with strenuous activity--up to two gallons!

But as my biology teacher would say (who is a South Carolinan right now and a Florida girl by birth), "We in the South don't sweat, but perspire."

So now try whipping these two facts out sometime when you're at the dinner table. Everyone will be wowed (or sickened) by your vast knowledge! They also might not be able to finish their dinner, but that's okay.

Hmm, I hope they just estimated these figures. I'd hate to see someone actually measuring them all out. . .

So tell me, how does this bit of trivia leave you? Wowed, happy, or utterly grossed out?

Finally. . . the fans! (or a few of them)

If you're not generally accustomed to reading a day's worth of posts from the bottom up so that they're in order, I suggest you do so. Otherwise this might make only half the sense it's supposed to.

Anyway, here they are!

The colorful masses of Red Sox and Reds fans

Kim surveying the field (and waiting for famous people to appear)

My beautful family!

Hopefully Kim won't kill me for this one. . .
but I still like the picture!

English and Hebrew Red Sox brothers (+KJ:)

And KJ again!

The game

So now here we have a weensy peek of the game. I didn't take as many pictures as some people in my family, but neither are these all of them!

I'm not sure, but this might be Papelbon pitching

Ditto to the last pic, but it could perhaps be Hanson too
(the guy who walked the bases loaded for us--ouch)

This is actually during the warm-up, not the game, but I didn't have room in other places for all my Varitek pictures, so I had to include him here because I like him so much. Besides, he's Kim's favorite (I think), so here he is just in case she sees this!

And Varitek again!

The players

We may not have gotten to see Schilling, Ortiz, Manny, and Damon (shudder) like we did last time, but there were still a couple of stars there nonetheless. Ya gotta love them!

Coco Crisp doing his stretches
(just in case it wasn't self-explanatory to you)

Matsuzaka!
(he better be worth all that dough)

Jason Varitek

Kyle Snyder
(one woman was so tickled when she got him to sign a Yankees hat:)

Players that nobody seems to know
(I'm not sure that Clyde had any success, if any of you Sox-savvy people happen to know, feel free to tell me!)

Blessed encouragement

Warning: I apologize, but this is a very unspiritual post.

Grr! Snow, snow, snow! Will it ever stop? Somehow "I'm dreaming of a white Easter" doesn't sound quite as appealing as the way the song is supposed to go.

And yet--and yet!

Hope rains.

Yes, ladies and gents, we're having rain! Can you believe it? Our five inches (it might be more, I haven't actually measured it) is ever so gradually being washed away by a semi steady pour. And the world is gray, so gray. . . .

And so I am reminded that it wasn't that long ago (three weeks to be exact) that we were in the sunny land of Florida. And attending a Red Sox spring training game no less. And since I've finally gotten my pictures developed, I decided to encourage you through this helpless waste by way of reminder that there is sunshine left in the world, and it's coming our way! And the Red Sox can usually make one happy (or disappointed, if you are of a pessimistic nature, but if that's the case I can't help you so you better deal with it), so voila!

First of all. . .

Taken at the Vic Market, Melbourne, Australia
The most prominent "foreign" jersey I saw on display
If that isn't proof that Red Sox rule all over the earth, I don't know what is!

These Red Sox hat pictures taken in Florida are supposed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy and make you look forward to seeing pictures of the game

Here's the field!
(in Sarasota taken from where we sat in the back)

And here comes Red Sox manager Terry Francona!

(hey Aaron, did I spell that right?:)

My Mother-in-law went to Israel. . . .

Once upon a time there was this man. And this man decided to tour the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. And then, (careful, this could get graphic!) the mother-in-law up and dies. Deeply perplexed, the man decided to consult a mortician and ask him how much it would cost to ship his mother-in-law home for her soon-to-be-needed burial.

"Hmm," said the mortician, stroking his pointy white goatee. "That would cost you about $15,000."

Disgruntled, the man stammered, "We-ell, how much would it cost to just bury her here?"

Three hundred bucks, came the reply.

Unfamiliar with the bartering system, the man hesitated long and hard, his look pained. "Uhhhhhh, I'll ship her home."

Astounded, the mortician forgot that he was supposed to milk the guy for his money and asked, "Why? You could save tons of money if you just buried her here."

"Well," replied the man, "two thousand years ago a man was buried here and three days later He rose from the dead--I can't take that chance!"

Happy Easter.:)