Free Gifts

What is my purpose?

Has God called me to anything?

How do these messages apply to me?

Do I need to change myself?

Am I seeking my pleasure above the glory of God?

Am I not being evangelistic enough?

Is it really that obvious that I'm troubled?

Am I going about with a frown on my face?

Am I behaving too much like Martha instead of Mary?

What are people thinking of me?

These and other self-centered questions raged in my mind. I chased after their answers in vain, like I so often do when I try to catch falling leaves on a windy autumn day. Uncertainty and worry are ravenous animals. But in the midst of their devouring, I read this passage:

"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, and have forgotten the LORD, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all the day because of the wrath of the oppressor, when he sets himself to destroy? And where is the wrath of the oppressor? He who is bowed down shall speedily be released; he shall not die and go down to the pit, neither shall his bread be lacking. I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar--the LORD of host is his name. And I have put my words in your mouth and covered you in the shadow of my hand." (Isaiah 51:12-16)

It was perfect. But then why does it surprise us again and again that the living Word of God can speak directly to our hearts today? Why should we be taken aback when just a few verses of the active Word can comfort, convict, remind us not to fear, encourage, magnify God's bigness, equip with fresh vision, and reveal God's compassionate love? Surely if God can speak a universe into existence with just a few words then He can speak life into my brittle heart with just a few verses.

I also recalled a handful of lessons I learned at the Feast. It's important to take in the breath of the Gospel and remember that God is in control no matter what the future holds. The hands that hold the seven stars are the same hands that hold you and me, and we need to listen to truth instead of the lies and despair clamoring inside and around us. Besides, God is caring and sovereign. We can look to the future with breathless expectation.

About this time I was striding in the great outdoors, my arms folded around my laptop. The air was fresh yet still. The trees still blazed their colorful anthems all around, and few leaves had begun to fall. I reflected on my questions, but I no longer reached out grasping fingers for the answers. Hope was clinging to me instead.

In the midst of this, a lone leaf landed in my arms. I hadn't reached for it, hadn't changed my pace for it, or even seen it coming. But there it lay, with absolutely no effort on my part. God's gift to me.

God's free gifts usually fall into our laps when we aren't expecting them or trying to earn them.