Recently I have been recalling my incredible history with the toilet. Well, it's actually not the least bit incredible, but I felt so at the time. The time occurred once when I dropped my water bottle in a public restroom toilet, but that is not what I am remembering. No, this was a time far different from any other time. It was not as smashing as having to snatch my mother's glasses from disappearing into the plumbing system, but I was still quite shocked. Now that I have gotten you all excited over nothing, I shall relate my tale.
The event struck two years ago last December, to be quite precise and boring, and it was on the day of the Messiah sing. As a young twelve-year-old, I still had not yet ventured into the women's locker room (partially because I was barely aware of its existence) so therefore I did all my changing in the restroom. As I was doing so a strange thing happened. I could almost play it back again and again in slow motion as I watched my soft, heavy brimmed winter hat roll, roll, roll, off of me and into. . . . . the toilet! And there it lay, floating in good clean toilet water, blissfully unaware of my dumb stare. So stare I did. This was very unexpected, and I was indeed flooded with every emotion of horror and hilarity. Now what? I am not learned in the knowledge of what you should do if you drop something in the toilet, so I was quite speechless and unprepared. I should buy a book, entitled, "What You Should Do When You Drop Your Navy Hat into the Toilet," and while I consult it often, I should buy the other variations for what you do with a red hat, a pink, green, and so forth. Or better yet, I could write my own, because now I figured out what to do.
1. First, with the tips of your thumb and forefingers, carefully pinch the top of the hat that is not touching the water, and lift.
2. After waiting until it stops dripping the good clean toilet water, proceed to the closest coat rack where your coat is kept and gingerly lay it, brim up, on top.
3. Do not forget that it is there and it's condition. When you are ready to return home, promptly hold the hat in the above described position and take home to let you mother plop it in the washing machine. You are now well prepared to face the world.
Of course that is exactly what I did, and now I am quite experienced. Let me know if you need any other tips.;)
Wow I don't know where I come up with such nonsense. . . . .
1 comment:
That was hilarious. Or you could have just flushed...
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