If you're interested in hearing the voice of God, you should check out Robert Morris's series called "Frequency." Or you can start watching it on YouTube.
Listen to "Frequency."
Watch "Frequency."
God used this series to show me how to listen to God when He was telling me who I should marry. I also learned that, as exciting as it is when He speaks through dreams, that isn't always His first choice when communicating on who our future spouse should be.
First, God speaks in many ways. He speaks through...
- dreams
- visions (Joel 2:28)
- people
- nature
- songs
- stories
- sermons
- books
- thoughts
But most importantly, He speaks through the Bible. Nothing God says will ever counteract what He already told us in His written Word. He is still speaking, but His character doesn't change.
"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19)
Concerning Dreams and Visions:
I believe that in accordance with Joel 2:28, God can communicate that way. If He did it with Joseph in the New Testament, He can do it with us today, especially since we have the Holy Spirit. He has communicated to me that way a few times, and it was pretty clear that it was Him when He did. However, I only knew these dreams were from God because they lined up with His Word and they were confirmed later to be so.
For example, over a year ago, I dreamed that a couple I knew was going to have a baby. I hadn't seen this couple for some time and had very little interaction with them. I had no idea they even wanted children or that they had been told they couldn't, but someone encouraged me to share the dream with them and they were very blessed when I did.
Three months later, this couple found out they were pregnant. Today, their little boy is alive and well.
Clearly, that was God, not me.
Other times, I have had dreams that brought comfort and taught me something about God's care and character. They also lined up with His Word and were just what I needed to hear to grow closer to Him. Because of this, I'm sure those were from Him too.
However, I caution everyone from acting too quickly on dreams about who you should marry.
Not that God can't speak on this subject through dreams. He can. He probably has. I'd love to hear from anyone who married someone they had a dream about, assuming he/she wasn't already interested in that person before the dream.
And that's just it. The human heart is deceitful, or at least, easily deceived. How can we know that the dream is really from God?
I say this because I had dreams about who I was going to marry someday too, and I believed them. They were shockingly similar dreams, actually, and I was convinced that I didn't invent them myself.
Why did I think these dreams were from God?
I believed these dreams were God-sent because I didn't believe I was interested in those people before I had the dream. If anything, I thought those people might even dislike me, so I assumed all the more that the dream was from God, not me.
I say "people" because this happened more than once about three years apart from each other.
And so I waited, confident that one day, that person would most likely be my husband someday.
Looking back, I am so glad I was wrong. But I recognize three things:
1. As much as I THOUGHT those dreams were from God and not part of my subconscious, I was most certainly wrong. 12-10 years later, I can see specific, seemingly unrelated events in my life around those dreams that increased the likeliness of my being interested in that person.
For example, I had convinced myself for years that I didn't like different people because I was convinced that one of my friends liked that person. The instant I got the hint that my friend might not be interested in that person after all, presto! I had a dream from "out of the blue."
And I was convinced that this was a coincidence, somehow.
Psychologists would probably talk about repression and stuff, and they'd probably be right. I repressed a lot of feelings then, and crushes were one of them.
For crying out loud, I never breathed more than a whisper of my crushes to my own mother (who was my best friend) until I was 20 years old.
And by the way, when I did tell her, I was super glad and liberated. Practicing openness with someone trustworthy frees you to go to your darkest corners with the knowledge that Love is always with you and everything will be okay. That's when growth happens. This openness is also great preparation for marriage and helps us learn how to be honest with ourselves too, which I clearly had a problem with. Thus, honesty with ourselves and others really does help ward off self-deception, as well as regular deception.
2. Crushes aren't wrong, and I certainly don't regret having those "dream inspired" ones. It's what you do with those feelings that matters.
But for the grace of God, I could have done a lot more stupid things.
But with the grace of God, those dream crushes taught me the invaluable lesson of regular surrender. I laid those dreams on the altar on a regular basis through the years, and it helped me to start developing the habit as I've learned to surrender other things.
I'll probably be learning the lesson of trust and surrender for the rest of my life, but that certainly laid some groundwork.
3. Nothing else supported the dreams I had except my own wishful thinking. Nothing in the Bible, from people, or anything whatsoever confirmed what I heard in those dreams. If there was "confirmation," I don't remember it and I'm sure I made it up.
But honestly, I wasn't really interested in confirmation anyway or anything that would pop the giant, rainbow-shimmery bubble I claimed that God had given me. This obsession with my prize dream is probably one of the many reasons God taught me to give it to Him, even if I had to do it a myriad of times.
I know that a lot of people claim to have dreams and visions about their future spouse. And I share my earlier experiences and examples from the Bible to show that I'm not knocking that. God can and probably does speak that way.
But if you're 16 or 19 like I was and/or don't have a regular practice of communicating with God and recognizing His voice, be cautious. There are other spirits that can use dreams too.
If you've had a dream or any other indication you believe to be God telling you who you should marry, follow Robert Morris's suggestion and ask for confirmation, like Gideon did.
And remember...
- God always confirms His word
- He uses godly counsel (not just people who will say what you want to hear)
- He uses circumstances
- He uses peace
- He uses signs in nature
- He uses the Bible
- Don't be afraid to ask for confirmation (Gideon did it over and over again!)
- Know that God won't say anything through someone else that He won't also say directly to us. In other words, just because someone ELSE believes that you are meant to marry him/her, wait until God tells you that too. If it really is from Him, He will.
- If we ask for confirmation in humility without having already made up our mind, and we're willing to do whatever He says, God will answer. (Isa. 66:2) Maybe He won't answer on our timetable or in our way, but He will answer.
- His plan for us is always better than ours.
How do I know this?
Because I have seen God do all this with my own eyes.
And later, I hope I can give you more details of how all this played out.
Jesus is truly amazing, and He loves to communicate with us.
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