dinner table dialogues

It’s incredible how many opportunities exist for unique conversations at the dinner table. Why, in a setting you’re comfortable in you can talk about pretty much anything, whether intense or hilarious! Provided it’s appropriate for the dinner table. But that point is often debatable.

Anyway, take one dialogue that happened a number of weeks ago at my own family’s dinner table. We were discussing the cows that might be given to Fairwood if only someone around here knew how to, well, cut them up. Somebody mentioned that so-and-so’s father had known how to do it. That’s nice, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t do us much good now because that dear person passed on to heaven some time ago. Anyway:

Clyde: We could have him do it (meaning the man that’s currently in heaven cut up the cow). He said it as a joke, but meaning no offense to him, it was rather a lame one.

I sat there, a reply shuddering on my lips. Did I dare say it? I think very highly of this person . . . but it was just too good to pass up. I yielded to temptation.

Me: Yeah, we could package it up and send it to him. Maybe it would get roasted on the way!

Too bad I couldn’t say it with a straight face.

And, moving on, it’s also interesting how certain things said aloud stimulate unusual thought processes, before you even realize that what you’re thinking is too absurd to be true. Here’s another recent dinner table dialogue:

Clyde: We’ll have to teach the grandkid’s Mom’s angry lemming face.

Craig: What grandkids? (or maybe he said “whose grandkids?”)

My train of thought: Yeah at the rate things are going Clyde is probably going to have grandkids before Mom ever does.

Oh wait.