Oh they're always in the way!
The cows eat them for hay!
They hide the dirt in Daddy's shirt,
They're always in the way!
What's this song about? Why, Daddy's whiskers of course! Sound familiar? Maybe you weren't blessed with the Wee Sing collection when you were growing up, or more specifically Wee Sing Silly Songs. Which is exactly what this song is from. As I remember it, a couple of the verses go something like this:
I have a little sister,
Her name is Ellie May,
She climbs up Daddy's whiskers,
And braids them all the way!
Chorus:
Oh they're always in the way!
The cows eat them for hay!
They hide the dirt in Daddy's shirt,
They're always in the way!
I have a dear old mother,
She likes the whiskers too,
She uses them for dusting
And cleaning up/out the flue!
As a kid, this last verse really troubled me. I mean, how many six-year-olds know what a flue is? Naturally I went to my wise, all-knowing brother who was five years my senior and therefore knew everything.
"What does flue mean?" I put the question to him.
He gave me a dark look before replying, "It means throw-up."
Oh my! How horrible! Why, that was almost as bad as when Kendra vacuumed up the stuff late one night after a certain brother of mine had an accident! And thus for years I sincerely thought that the dear mother in the song really did use Daddy's whiskers to clean up such unpleasant messes. It seemed awful but it must be the truth because my big brother said it, and I'm pretty sure he even wanted to know where I heard the word even before he replied to such an awkward question, so he seemed to answer in full knowledge of the context. Therefore it was set in stone.
Imagine my relief when I stumbled upon the difference between "flu" and "flue." I think a lot of haziness from my childhood was really cleared up right then.
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